in a display of generosity and goodwill so amazing that i've at least half-blown my own mind, i offer for public consumption, before any games have been played, my ncaa tournament brackets.
there are two. the first one i filled out with my brain; the second one with my heart. i'll leave it to you to make the right choice in deciding which one to print out and submit to whatever pools you're entering. i don't even request that you send me a cut of your winnings; i'm doing this just because i love doing nice things for other people that much. also, i'm independently wealthy.
(bracket #1: the brain bracket. i know that you must be tempted to not even look at the second one, out of sheer respect for my extra-dimensional computing machine of a cerebral cortex. i don't blame you for being tempted, but i can't endorse this course of action. there are times that even the greatest of logical frameworks cannot ensure infallibility. please read on.)
(bracket #2: the heart bracket. o noble heart, o courageous heart, o reason-defying heart. this bracket is assuredly not for those of weak disposition or limited intestinal control. it is not for those who prefer safety over adventure or peace over joy. this bracket is for those who tell their brains - even their superhumanly-intelligent brains - to back off and let their hearts be their guides every once in a while. this bracket does not promise you shangri-la; in fact, it will assuredly be painful for you at times. your inerudite companions may mock or ridicule you based upon the dashing chances it takes and by the staggering leaps of faith it requires. nevertheless, if you want to finally feel alive; if you truly want to feel the great basketball winds whistling about your face as you transcend the rigid frameworks of projections, statistics, and simulations; if you simply want to be consumed by love and beauty this tournament season - well, look no further my dear adventurous comrade. this bracket is for you.)
6 comments:
honestly, if the second bracket was picked with your heart, then pitt plays duke in a nail biter and your favorite player of all time, Martynas Pocius, wins the game.
marty and his 9 fingers are out for the year, fool.
again, we are picking with your heart. your head tells you he can't hit a shot when he is out for the year. but in your heart, marty lives forever.
he isn't dead. he's out.
on a related note, just because my heart isn't my brain doesn't mean it's a moron.
back up off the fortuneteller, son.
Way to go out on a limb douche bag. Looks like this will be the 1st Tourney in history where every seed that is supposed to win, does.
Psyche!
there's no comeback snappy enough to do battle with a well-crafted psyche bit.
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