I'm extremely proud to say that I didn't read a single "article" about this idiotic "Balloon Boy" "story" all day. I'm also extremely proud at how dexterously I wield snarky quotation marks.
Back to the Balloon Boy thing, though. Is there a better example of the imbecilic depths to which mainstream American media has sunk than a story about a 6-Year Old Boy Who Took Off In a Hot Air Balloon! Fell Out Of A Hot Air Balloon! Isn't In The Balloon But Is Still Missing! May Be Spearheading An Al Qaeda Hot Air Balloon Attack! Never Left His House? Almost certainly yes, but this is still pretty bad.
Perhaps you're thinking, "How do you know so much about the 'story' (thanks for the quotes setup) if you didn't read anything about it?" Perhaps no one cares what you're thinking.
What I'm thinking, though, is the following list of questions, which are and shall remain rhetorical in the truest sense of the word. And I just looked it up, too, so don't try to get fresh with me about it.
I don't want any answers. Because I truly don't care. I just can't help but ask:
1. What the Child Services was this wacko family doing with an unsecured, homemade hot air balloon?
2. How the TMZ did this go from "our kid has been missing for a half-hour" to "a Nation Riveted" so lightning fast?
3. What the smoking cigarettes was that little punk doing hiding up in the attic, anyway?
4. Why the CNN can't we put each of the authors of the 3,339 "news articles" on their own DIY balloons and float them into oblivion?
5. Why the whiny hypocrisy did I just spend fifteen minutes of my life on this?
4 comments:
I guess you're going to love all of the stories today, since the kid sold famewhore daddy out.
The balloon was pretty awesome looking though.
This story comes second only to the huge fuss the media made over swine flu...I'm still waiting for mass death and chaos on that one...the good news is that you can now find those handy little hand foam dispensers every ten feet. So, maybe we'll get something fabulous out of this whole ordeal too...hot air balloons for everyone?? I hope so.
Has anyone seen the mother, you would think she would be in some footage, maybe she was the one in the baloon. The basket theory lives on.
BK
Anonymous - Agreed to both.
Anonymous - My pet swine died of swine flu. I hope you're happy now.
BK - I think she has swine flu.
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