Is Halloween my favorite holiday?
Yes.
Is it my favorite day of the year?
Yes.
Do I love it like a fat kid love cake?
Yes.
Do I love it like rappers love lame analogies?
Yes.
Do I feel ashamed that, despite this perhaps-slightly-maniacal passion, I didn't carve a single-, triple-. or nonuple-pumpkin jack o'lantern this year?
Yes.
Do I feel less ashamed because it was only due to the continued destruction of all I hold dear by The World's Most Annoying Injury?
Yes.
Do I feel ashamed that I didn't dress up like a scary scarecrow, sit on the porch like a decoration, then suddenly spring to life and frighten the sugar out of all of the little trick-or-treaters who showed up at my parents' house?
Yes.
Do I feel less ashamed because this was also only due to TWMAI? Well, and to the fact that my mom would have undoubtedly called the police on me?
Yes.
Do I feel ashamed that my first inclination upon seeing the sign pictured below was that the ghost was in search of other ghosts with prominent backsides?
No.
And that the thing he was holding--because it would have had to have been a "he," right?--was some spectral variation of Mardi Gras beads targeted to his preferred body part?
Also no.
Happy Halloween?
Yes.
10 comments:
i was wondering what the excuse was for the lack of jack o'lantern(s). i sorely missed it. dumb TWMAI.
Who doesn't like a good booty? We know Serena likes a good booty. Ain't that right, lil' Dane?
Do you have a fascination with assigning double-entendres to non-lascivious signage? Yes.
You're silly.
Dan, new Hot Jam....check out Rural Alberta Advantage. Oddly enough when you look it up on Amazon the fourth listing is We Were Promised Jetpacks. So I in turn will check that Hot Jam out.
Did I laugh at this post?
Yes
Do I find your ability to take a sign I would label as "cute" and turn it into something much different uncanny?
Yes
Do I wish TWMAI would go away?
Yes
Maybe it's supposed to mean pirate booty. That's why it has all those beads.
Also, if we're recommending Hot Jams......I recommend The Mountain Goats! Especially the album "Come, Come to the Sunset Tree", but really all of it. I'd be surprised if you didn't know them from your time living in Durham...but I recommend them nonetheless!
Did I start reading this out of boredom?
Yes
Am I now so addicted that it's saved in my favorites?
well....yes
BK
lucy - Me too. Hopefully next year.
Big Dane - That is very, very right.
Molly - Did you recently purchase a thesaurus? Yes.
Anonymous - So is your mom.
steve.rood - I have RAA's latest album and it's quire excellent. Do feel free to keep the tips coming.
absofsteel - Many thanks all around.
Sari - A pirate ghost? Interesting. I do indeed know TMG, although not from my time in D-town. Thanks for the tip either way.
Anonymous BK - Did I start writing this out of boredom? Yes.
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